The white knight . . .


There is something intoxicating in being a white knight.

Somehow I fell into it and accepted the role not knowing where it would lead. Six seductive years of longing and tears and numerous thrilling flights back and forth between Bali and California finally resolved with our marriage in California in 1985.

1985

Later I realized that a lot of that anguish had been manufactured—the 'drama queen', some of her friends described her—but I would have fallen in love with Made Jati anyway.

For the next two years we lived in California where I represented the U.S. marketing office of an Indonesian wood products company. We bought a home, but I often returned to Indonesia for business, and then Made would stay with her family in Bali while I was in Kalimantan or Surabaya or Jakarta.

By 1988 Made was unhappy and missed her family. I was still the white knight desperately trying to make her happy (NEVER promise to 'make someone happy', a psychologist later told me; some women take it literally as a challenge).

But being a dutiful and loving husband, we gave up our home and moved to Bali.

It was all good at first. We bought property and built a house together in Sanur. During the week I flew to Kalimantan and Surabaya, then on weekends back to Bali.

1985

Made had a clothing company, Uluwatu, in her name, owned by her former boyfriend M.McHugh. She wasn't active in it as she had lived in California with me both before and after our marriage, but because foreign citizens could not own businesses in Indonesia it was common to borrow an Indonesian's name.

Uluwatu, however, was at the edge of bankruptcy. Many small businesses owned by Westerners were exporting cheap lace in the 1980s, but by 1988 the fad was over and most were out of business. Uluwatu was one of the last. McHugh was ready to move on. He wanted to leave Bali and start a business in Los Angeles.

I wasn't excited about taking over Uluwatu because I liked my current job, but Made was unhappy with my absences. I looked at the market; tourism was growing, and Kuta was turning into a tourist town with shops and restaurants. And the Uluwatu product—gaudy brightly colored lace and other surfwear—could be converted easily to a higher grade elegant white lace.

1985

So we agreed to buy Uluwatu from McHugh for $20,000 and take on the many unpaid debts. Because the business was already in Made’s name, and because Bali in 1988 had very few enforced business laws—according to Made—the agreement was verbal.

That is how 'Uluwatu - Handmade Balinese Lace' began.

In 1993 our son Sean was born in California. In 1994 our son Brenden was born in Singapore. Life was pretty good.

In 1994 Made asked me to enter the Bali Hindu religion so that Sean and Brenden could also enter the Hindu religion. I agreed and took part in many ceremonies including Sudiwudani, and I received the name ‘I Chandra Wijaya’ with an official Certificate Piagam—in Indonesia religion is an actual legal status.

Everything seemed like a happy and successful family.